How To Make Friends In Real Life
My answer to a very serious question.
My friend Adam Ming recently asked if he could interview me about how to make friends in real life. I thought about it, and even though he’s already fallen for my trap in the past, I figured I’d give him my tried and true set of instructions:
HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS IN REAL LIFE
If you want to make a friend, first you’ll need a box.
How big of a box, you ask?
Just ask Bo at the Box Boutique.
If your new friend is Bo shaped, you’ll need the biggest box.
Then you’ll need some bait.
What kind of bait, you ask?
Just ask Sue at her Snack Shop.
Sue likes the chips that are cheesy and crunchy. You and Bo do too.
Your new friend will like music.
What kind of music, you ask?
Just ask Rick at Record Ready.
Rick likes rock and roll. You and Bo and Sue do too.
Finally, you’ll need some flair.
What kind of flair, you ask?
Just ask Francisco at the Flair Warehouse.
You and Bo and Sue and Rick and Francisco pick out beads for a friendship bracelet.
Next you’ll need to head to the park.
What kind of park, you ask?
Just look for Pauline, feeding pigeons. She’ll show you the spot.
You and Bo and Sue and Rick and Francisco and Pauline feed the pigeons.
You set up your trap and wait.
Jon jogs by and stops to see who shows up, but he doesn’t get in the box.
Lissa and Joffre dance to your favorite tunes, but they do not get in the box.
Rosa sells ice cold lemonade to the crowd, but she doesn’t get in the box either.
You wait, and wait and wait.
Your tummy rumbles, but you don’t want your new friend to hear, so you have to do something…
SNAP!
The trap has been triggered! Who’s in the box?
It’s empty?!
My plan didn’t work?
Well you can always try again tomorrow.
Just lick that cheese dust off your fingers, wipe your face, and pack up your box.
Rosa will bring her famous cupcakes next time.
My tips for making friends include leaving your home and going to places you like, attending events you’re interested in and chatting with the other people there. Dish out compliments, tell some jokes, swap stories and be a little vulnerable.
Speaking of vulnerability: Guess what - if you’ve gotten this far, you’ve read a rough, unedited first draft! Maybe it only makes sense to me right now. Most things I write go through multiple drafts, so I’m here to let you know that’s normal. Feel free to point out what is/isn’t working in the comments. After all, we’re friends now!
Our Next Illoguild Live session all about “Marketing/Promotion, what works and what hasn’t” is:
MONDAY, MAY 19, 2024 at 4PM EST
Sign up here: https://lu.ma/m84alxdt?tk=isqdEh
It’s so cool to be able to watch this magic happen!
I love everything about this!